trečiadienis, birželio 08, 2011

Dienos citata: Unlived Anger

  1. For parents to be aware of what they are doing to their children, they would also have to be aware of what was done to them in their own childhood. But this is exactly what was forbidden them as children. If access to this knowledge is cut off, parents can strike and humiliate their children or torment and mistreat them in other ways, without realizing how they are hurting them; they simply are compelled to behave this way.
  2. If the tragedy of a well-meaning person's childhood remains hidden behind idealizations, the unconscious knowledge of the actual state of affairs will have to assert itself by an indirect route. This occurs with the aid of the repetition compulsion. Over and over again, for reasons they do not understand, people will create situations and establish relationships in which they torment or are tormented by their partner, or both.
  3. Since tormenting one's children is a legitimate part of child-rearing, this provides the most obvious outlet for bottled up aggression.
  4. Because an aggressive response to emotional and physical abuse is forbidden by parents in almost all religions, this outlet is the only one available. 
 Excerpt from Alice Miller's For Your Own Good

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